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The Lexical Funk!

Daniel has wanted to be a writer ever since he was in elementary school.He has published stories and articles in such magazines as Slipstream, Black Petals, Spindrift, Zygote in my Coffee, and Leading Edge Science Fiction. He has written four books: The Sage and the Scarecrow (a novel), the Lexical Funk (a short story collection), Reejecttion (short story/ essay collection), and The Ghosts of Nagasaki (a novel).

Bed Sleep, Cable Television, and other Aspects of the Good Life? - Excerpt from the Underground Novel

The novel in short: A new graduate and his monkey must navigate the world after graduating college. Also, a guide to life after graduation.



13- Bed Sleep, Cable Television, and other Aspects of the Good Life?

Generally Good Idea #13: Enjoy bed sleep while you still can. Enjoy the martinis while it lasts. Enjoy cable television. Enjoy air conditioning. Enjoy food a short walking distance away. Enjoy appliances, carpets, DVD players, swimming pools, etc. You never know how long it will last.

Bed sleep is good. I forgot for a little while what bed sleep was actually like. It’s been a few days since the funeral, and I have my crew situated. The law firm is running well, and my other operations are running equally well from my dad’s mansion.


My mom doesn’t seem to mind that we have three homeless people with us, and she’s always loved J.P.


“What up, Monkey?” I say when I get downstairs after some serious bed sleep.


J.P. gives me a high five and pours me a bowl of cheerios.


“Thank you, my good man.”


We sit around and eat cheerios.


“I tell you what, this is the life. I didn’t know how much I missed all this crap until I came back. Food close to where you sleep, cable television, air conditioning, fully stocked mini-bar, swimming pool….oh, and, of course, the best part: bed sleep. Yeah, nothing beats bed sleep.”


J.P. shakes his head.


“Awww, come on. You don’t miss any of this?”


J.P. shrugs.




I think about it. It’s strange, but there is a little bit of nostalgia for the vagrant’s life: waking up to the sunset, hearing the ocean at night, playing Donkey Kong, and strangely, living dubiously. Even that is missed.


“You’re scared that you’ll get too used to this? That next time you’re thrown into a tough situation by the inconstant Fates it will be harder to let go?”


He eats his cereal in silence.


“Yeah, me too.”